Why WASPs should never try a Jewish Christmas

This, my friends, is what I ate for Christmas dinner. My parents decided to do the whole Christmas thing differently this year. Usually, in an effort to not cook two dinners at home, we spend Christmas Eve dinner at an inn-type place and have good ol' New England cuisine. Most often, it's overpriced and almost never as good as the meal we cook the next night. So, realizing how ridiculous it is to spend so much money on not such great food, the parents decided that this year, we would spend Christmas Eve at home cooking and do Christmas Jew-style. We spent the morning opening presents and doing our usual big Christmas morning breakfast, and, when this was all done, went to a movie. All great so far. Once the movie was over, however, we went to a Chinese/all-types-of-Asian-food restaurant, and the day just went down hill from there.

As I have had pretty adverse reactions to Chinese food and MSG in my lifetime (ie. face blowing up and dizzy spells) I decided to go with something I knew I liked and that was going to be simple: sushi. So I picked out the Maki triad, whose description on the menu read something along the lines of yellow tail, tuna, and salmon maki rolls decorated with festive rice paper. Festive decoration, that could be good, right? It's Christmas, after all. Um yeah, bad idea. That description apparently meant this lovely (read, utterly horrible) entree pictured above where the seaweed had been replaced with Easter colored rice paper. As much as these cheery colors would be lovely decoration for "festive" Easter eggs, I by no means wanted to consume them, especially on Christmas. What? Are we celebrating Christ's death before he's even out of the manger yet? And for serious, Christmas is my most favorite day of the year and I consume this? Um, gross. And um, I have indigestion now too. Chinese restaurants should not try to do all Asian cuisine. It doesn't work.

Anyways, so no Jewish Christmas for me next year. I'll eat left overs.

And, just for the record, this is not meant to be insulting an any way to any religion. Please forgive me if I have offended any of you.